Pink Pineapple: Benny Blanco's Latest PR Stunt? - Reddit's Obsessed

The Pink Pineapple: Peak Idiocracy in Fruit Form Okay, so the internet's losing its collective mind over *pink* pineapples? Seriously? Give me a break. We've got actual problems—wars, climate change, the impending AI apocalypse—and people are drooling over a genetically modified fruit that's, like, Instagrammable?

Pink Pineapple: Luxury Fruit or Just a Tomato Wannabe?

The Lycopene Lie Let's dissect this "innovation," shall we? It's a pineapple. It's pink. Big deal. Apparently, some lab coat-wearing wizards tweaked its DNA to keep it pink instead of the "normal" yellow. They're blocking the conversion of lycopene. Lycopene, the stuff that makes tomatoes red. So, basically, they've engineered a fruit to be...more like a tomato? Is that the pinnacle of scientific achievement we're aiming for now? A tomato-pineapple hybrid that costs more than my monthly Netflix subscription? And the marketing? “Luxury fruit.” Oh, please. It's a pineapple that’s been artificially colored. Slap a fancy label on it and suddenly it’s worth $50? I'm sure the Hippies Happiness page got paid for that photo.

Influencers + Pineapples = Peak Idiocracy?

The Influencer Infection Of course, the "viral appeal" is mentioned. Influencers are all over this thing. No surprise. They'll hawk anything that gets them likes and follows. "Photogenic charm"? It's a freaking pineapple! Are people so starved for visual stimulation that they need artificially colored fruit to get their dopamine fix? And Benny Blanco approves? Who cares? Last I checked, being a music producer doesn't qualify you as a food critic. He probably gets free pineapples anyway. Must be nice. The Pink Pineapple: Nature’s Sweetest Trend Taking Over the Internet — and Benny Blanco Approves Speaking of things costing too much... I just got a parking ticket for $85. Eighty-five freaking dollars for parking five minutes over the limit! They expect us to believe this nonsense, and honestly...

Pink Pineapple: Because Regular Pineapples Weren't Absurd Enough?

The "Health Benefits" Hoax Oh, and the health benefits. Gotta love the health benefits. "Rich in Vitamin C." So are oranges. "High in Antioxidants." So are blueberries. "Aids Digestion." So does fiber. It's a pineapple. With some extra lycopene. Are we honestly pretending this is some kind of superfood breakthrough? What's next, genetically engineered kale that cures cancer? I’m sure big pharma is working on it. Is it safe to eat? Sure, they *say* it is. Approved for consumption. But let's be real, are we *really* supposed to trust the same corporations that brought us processed garbage and pesticide-laden produce? I'm not saying it's going to kill you, but I ain't exactly rushing out to buy one. So, We're Paying Extra for Pink Now? Look, I get it. People like novelty. They like shiny things. But this pink pineapple thing? It's a symptom of something much bigger. It's a symbol of our collective obsession with superficiality. We're so easily distracted by the next shiny object that we're completely missing the bigger picture. And honestly, it's kinda depressing. Maybe I'm just just getting old. Or maybe I'm just surrounded by idiots. It's probably both, offcourse.